The Reasonable Man Theory: The 7 Real Payments in Sales (and Why Only One Is Money)
Here’s a radical concept in sales: what if your buyer isn’t crazy?
What if they’re not ghosting you, ignoring your email, or dragging their feet because they’re evil or dumb — but because you’re not being reasonable?
The Reasonable Man Theory
A reasonable person only gives what you’ve earned.
Not what you expect. Not what your CRM forecast says. What. You. Earned.
And if you understand the seven things a buyer actually pays you with — and in what order — you stop acting like a desperate teenager asking for gas money from a first date.
Let’s break down the 7 Payments every buyer makes, backed by real behavioral science and sales psychology:
1. Payment: Attention
Buyer thought: Why should I care about you at all?
Attention is the first currency. You’re not even on the board until you earn it.
Backed by science:
According to a Harvard Business Review study, decision-makers receive an average of 40+ emails per day. Your cold outreach is in a cage match for attention.
How you earn it:
– Be relevant to their business, not just your pitch.
– Leverage referrals or social proof (trust transfer).
– Use pattern interrupt messaging: “Here’s what I’ve seen companies like yours struggling with lately…”
Reminder: Attention is rented, not owned. Don’t waste it.
2. Payment: Time
Buyer thought: Why should I give you a slice of my calendar?
Time is the next test. Give someone a calendar link before earning this, and you’re like a stranger asking someone to help you move. Too soon.
Backed by science:
The concept of Time Affluence in behavioral science shows people value discretionary time *more than money*. It’s a trust trigger.
How you earn it:
– Show you understand their priorities and vertical.
– Make your first ask small (15-min insights call vs. 60-min demo).
3. Payment: Truth
Buyer thought: Can I tell you what’s really going on?
Most buyers lie to salespeople. Not because they’re malicious. Because they don’t trust you with the truth yet.
Backed by science:
According to Harvard’s Trust Equation, trust = (credibility + reliability + intimacy) / self-orientation. If they think you’re too focused on your deal, they withhold.
How you earn it:
– Ditch the pitch. Start with curiosity.
– Create emotional safety. Normalize their pain.
Until they open up about what’s really wrong, you’re selling vitamins when they need a surgeon.
4. Payment: Trust
Buyer thought: Can I believe you’re the right person or company to help me?
This one’s simple. No trust? No deal.
Backed by science:
The Edelman Trust Barometer shows that trust in business is now more important than product or price. People buy from people they believe.
How you earn it:
– Show case studies, not capabilities decks.
– Leverage third-party validation: referrals, testimonials, known mutuals.
You can’t fake trust. You have to stack it.
5. Payment: Money
Buyer thought: Am I willing to bet my budget on you?
Now — and only now — you get to ask for the wallet.
Backed by science:
The Challenger Sale model found that high-performing reps *build value* before pricing. When trust and insight are high, price sensitivity goes down.
How you earn it:
– Tie your ask to an outcome they’ve already told you matters.
– De-risk the deal (pilot, phased rollout, guarantee).
Most reps try to collect this payment first. That’s why they’re broke.
6. Payment: Edification
Buyer thought: Am I proud to introduce you to someone else?
This is the tipping point. When someone vouches for you, they’re betting their credibility. That’s a high-trust move.
Backed by science:
Referrals convert 4x higher than cold leads (Nielsen), and word-of-mouth is still the most trusted form of advertising.
How you earn it:
– Overdeliver.
– Follow up with gratitude and give them something first (e.g., intro, content, lead).
You’re not just in the sales game anymore. You’re in the reputation business.
7. Payment: Repetition
Buyer thought: Am I repeating your message when I talk to others?
You’ve officially gone viral. When someone uses your words to describe their problem, you’ve earned the holy grail: mindshare.
Backed by science:
Behavioral economics calls this “cognitive anchoring” — you become the **mental shortcut** for solving X problem.
How you earn it:
– Use sticky frameworks and metaphors (“We’re the aspirin to your Sunday morning.”)
– Repeat your value prop clearly, consistently, and confidently.
When your language becomes their language, you’re no longer a vendor — you’re part of their identity.
Final Thought: Be Reasonable
Here’s the mic-drop moment:
A reasonable person doesn’t try to withdraw what they haven’t deposited.
If your deals are stalling, it’s probably not your pricing or your deck. It’s because you skipped a step. You tried to collect money before you earned truth. Or asked for time before getting attention.
Don’t be the guy proposing on the first date.
Be the reasonable man. Show up with value. Stack the 7 payments.
And when the deal comes in? You’ll know you earned it — because they paid you in more than just dollars.
Want to train your team on the 7 payments?
Let’s talk.
You bring the hustle.
We’ll bring the frameworks.